Letting go. And catching again

"only know a love when you let her go
 and you let her go"

Those who know me are aware I am not very sensitive. Not at all, actually. But moved by those words I decided to spend my morning in writing a post  - instead of doing any of my schoolwork.

So here I am - experiencing what it's like to be by yourself and just enjoy the silence. And it's so good.

But this is not the very point. Do you know the feeling when you let go of or you're let go by a friend? That emptiness inside, the mind is full of thoughts but the soul lacks emotions whatsoever? Been there, done that.

Back in the days, I had a wonderful best friend, with whom I could share anything - from the colour of my socks to the latest impressive Remark book I've read. The relation between us was unbreakable - or at least I thought so. After four years of constant babbling about pretty much every damn thing in this beautiful world something somewhere went terribly wrong. I cannot recall what exactly (oh, wait, I can, just want to get rid of the memory) but it destroyed what we had.

It's been three years since we've spoken and, believe me, we were not nice to eachother that one last time. We've spent separately our years throughout high school until one day I decided to give the girl a call. It ran more than excellent. Our reuinion was nothing more and nothing less than what people put under the name "Christmas miracle".

A month later - today - we are going out to a concert together.

Personal experience: shared. Now it's time to focus on the philosophical side of what's happened.

Everybody wants to have friends, don't they? And when you find one, the colours are brighter, the scents - sharper, the books - better, the music sounds differently, the birds are suddenly the loveliest creatures even though they wake you up early on Sunday morning. There is nothing like the relationship between two best friends - no matter gender, political and religious views, no matter anything. It's like they're brothers of sisters or a brother and a sister. Letting a part of you go hurts. Badly. The heart bears a wound that the mind can't heal.
But sometimes it is for good. And when it is - "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."